Humour/Jokes | Inner South Family and Friends

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after
lunch.’

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.

THE PANTRY IS EMPTY AND SO IS OUR WALLET.

WE ALL KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE A WOODPECKER ON YOUR NEXT VOYAGE.

David Friedman

@ironicsans

The original “On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog” cartoon is going up for auction. The estimate is $40,000 – $60,000. It’s the most reproduced New Yorker comic of all time, and predates Netscape Navigator by a year! fineart.ha.com/itm/mainstream

I DO ENJOY A BAGPIPE TUNE OCCASIONALLY

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM MAXINE

A minister decided that a visual demonstration
would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put
into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put
into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into
a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into
a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon,
the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol –
Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke –
Dead .

Third worm in chocolate syrup –
Dead .

Fourth worm in good clean soil –
Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation –

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back,
quickly raised her hand and said,

“As long as you drink,
smoke and eat chocolate,
you won’t have worms!”